@MariyaAlexander: If you can't handle me at my worst, you and I have a lot in common.
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@GingerGander: A new study says vegetarians die younger than smokers, on average, so don't smoke your vegetables...
@notalogin: Wife: You're shirtless? *nods* W: And covered in...oil? -Well, you know how you always say I never glisten? W: Listen. You never listen. -Oh
@HallpassCanada: If you're a grown man walkin around with a winter hat that has animal ears I can tell that @ some point people used 2 take your lunch money