@carlyken: If you can't handle me getting arrested in my pajama pants at Walmart than you don't deserve me buying produce in my yoga pants at Target.
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@Dawn_M_: Sorry I looked completely surprised that your baby didn't burst into flames when I chanted The Power Of Christ Compels You.
@hurlarious: Why doesn't every mistake in real life I make have a squiggly red line underneath it?
@audipenny: friend: wish you were here! me, abruptly stopping whatever I'm doing and captaining a speedboat approaching your house: oh really