@carlyken: If you can't handle my interpretive dance to November Rain than you don't deserve me doing splits on the hood of your car to Whitesnake.
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@Dr_Teflon: *Ex wife yelling at me from driveway* I HOPE YOU DIE A LONG AND PAINFUL DEATH! Me- no babe I'm not moving back in Ex-.....
@sarcasm_inc: A group of chimpanzees walking out of a Banana Republic is called "disappointed" Except for Charlie there, who scored a nice sundress.
@dougbies: I like long, romantic walks away from women that try catching the bouquet at weddings
@est1975blog: I'd like to share a joke with you that my 2yo nephew told me. 2yo: Knock knock. Me: Who's there? 2yo: I don't know. *leaves