@DurtMcHurtt: If you can't spell, we can't hangman.
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@novicefather: Pour your beer in a coffee cup because sometimes walking around with a beer during breakfast is frowned upon.
@usermcuserface: At the library: Librarian: you have 45 cents in late fees. Me: (adjusts bow tie then slides 50 cents across the table) Keep the change
@kodeeezzzy: Why is it called "Alien vs Predator"? Isn't predator an alien too? They should've just called it "Some Aliens"