@DurtMcHurtt: If you can't spell, we can't hangman.
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@Parkerlawyer: I told my 8 year old son, “There’s something so special about you. Since you’re my last baby, you will always be mommy’s baby to me.” To which he replied, “God I hope so. Aren’t you pushing 50?”
@Brianhopecomedy: My wife: "What are you doing?" "Having an argument on Twitter" "With a man or woman?" "A lamp."
@AndLive2Love: We were making out on the couch and She's like "Let's take this upstairs" I'm like "Ok you grab one side and I'll grab the other!"