@DurtMcHurtt: If you can't spell, we can't hangman.
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@weinerdog4life: When one door closes another door opens, pretty sure my house is haunted, I sleep on the porch
@Dawn_M_: My doctor said the claw marks on my face are not from a poltergeist but I should stop trying to put roller skates on cats.
@KevinFarzad: It truly bothers me how many people would marry someone just for their money. Because I'm trying to do that & you're lowering my chances.
@OhNoSheTwitnt: Nothing like an 8:00 meeting on a Monday morning to remind you that your best years are behind you.