@theshantilly: If you can't stand me at my worst then WAIT COME BACK HERE WHERE ARE YOU GOING
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@Sarcasticsapien: Coworker: Guess what day it is? Me: Don't. CW: Guess what day it is? Me: Don't. CW: It's hum.. [30 min later] Cop: So you stapled his lips?
@LurkAtHomeMom: Time for bed! *puts phone down* Oops, forgot to set my alarm! *picks phone back up and surfs the web for 7.5 hrs*
@trojansauce: [about to have sex] WIFE: what happened to all the condoms?! [cut to] ME: *making balloon animals at work* [cut back] ME: affair
@skullpuppy11: Just like Hitler with the tiny mustache, Kim Jong-Un is ruining that haircut for everyone else.