@BradBroaddus: My aunt's ex-boyfriend's mailman's brother said it on Facebook so I don't think any further research is necessary.

@AndyRichter: At Fantastic Beasts & some nerds are in Hogwarts robes so I don't know why they're giving me the stink eye for my Wonder Woman outfit

@thejodiest: I want an app that tells me when someone is thinking about me while having sex with someone else.

@ashmensch: If you want my body and you think I'm sexy, please stop buying your prescription glasses at Walmart.

@ojedge: Do you, Karen, take David the Optometrist to be your lawfully wedded husband, for better or worse? Better... or worse? Better... or worse?