@Mytwoscentz: I'm at my most vulnerable when I'm trying to spell Chrysanthemum

@Jarhead44: I've always wanted a monkey, so I bought one at auction today. I've had him about an hour now. Anyway..... Monkey for Sale.

@LindaInDisguise: How to eat French fries: 1) Eat all the good ones. 2) Leave the yucky ones and feel superior. 3) Wait 5 minutes. 4) Eat all the yucky ones.

@SincerelyTumblr: mermaids swim by twerking do you ever just think about that

@Spaziotwat: [On The Cross] Jesus:"Father, forgive them, fore they know no-" Voice from the crowd:"DO THE WINE TRICK"