@2014longview: If you carry a baseball bat in your car, you should carry a glove too. Your lawyer will thank you.
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@trentistweeting: [me trying to do magic] Is this your card? "No" Is THIS your card? "Not even close" What about THIS? "Trent thats literally a piece of ham"
@vikkaroni: Pro tip: Instead of having kids, just adopt a couple raccoons. They'll trash your house too, but at least they can feed themselves.
@robfee: The Ghostbusters are women?! This totally compromises the integrity of a story about battling evil marshmallows while dressed like a janitor