@tweeterreader36: If you catch me doing a selfie at work, at least offer to take the pic for me.
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@Carbosly: I lost my voice. If whoever finds it could resume screaming at my ex-husband, that would be much appreciated.
@pleatedjeans: [talks about how badass wolves are for 20 mins] date: can we talk about something else? [pulls out powerpoint on why wolves are badass] No
@Brianhopecomedy: I told my Mom that I was going to the Apple store and she said, "You sound like you're 4 - it's the grocery store".