@Underchilde: If you could go back in time, would you kill Hitler or just watch movies that aren’t about superheroes?
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@dafloydsta: BOSS: We need to improve morale ME: Okay BOSS: How about an office party? ME: [crosses out "replace coworkers with puppies"] I guess
@ArfMeasures: DATE: I like guys who show their sensitive side ME [through mouthful of ice cream] this hurts my teeth