@Try2StopME: If you cry every day in your relationship.. sit down, take a deep breath & ask yourself, "Am I dating a Human or an Onion?"
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@Reverend_Scott: Call me old fashioned, but I think any woman that can open the lid of a jar by herself is a witch.
@DaddyJew: [ cookout ] Me: OMG this ketchup is amazing! Host: yea yea we all know you brought the ketchup
@drinksmcgee: Apparently, using a french fry and an onion ring to simulate how I wanted the rest of the evening to go wasn't the most romantic move ever.