@Try2StopME: If you cry every day in your relationship.. sit down, take a deep breath & ask yourself, "Am I dating a Human or an Onion?"
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@Reverend_Scott: DOG 911: What's your emer- DOG: HE THREW A BALL BUT I CAN'T FIND IT DOG 911: He still holding it? DOG: YES! HOW'D HE FETCH IT BEFORE ME??
@krisv_723: Me: Siri, how hot does fire need to be to burn a body. Siri: Kris, we go over this once a week. Make a note.
@Surgyen: Algebra,trignometry, and calculus are responsible for more doctors than the actual love for the profession.
@Bagyants: My gangster name would be The Street. If someone dared to oppose me I'd say ominous things like "Look both ways before you cross The Street"