@TheCatWhisprer: If you cut me off in traffic you better be ready to look in your rearview mirror and see me yelling something you can't hear.
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@_Shizzle: I went on a date with a girl I met from twitter once. It didn't work out, but he's one of the nicest guys I've ever met.
@RobSprance: If McDonalds wants to check my $10 bill for signs of counterfeit, I should be able to check their chicken for chicken.
@SigneSaysSo: My pants are so tight I'm legitimately afraid they won't fit if I miss a day of shaving my legs.