@UNTRESOR: If you cut off a mommy blogger's head she can continue mommy blogging for up to three full minutes.
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@zachreinert03: Every time I see the headline 'tragedy on film set' I think oh god m knight shymalan is making another goddamn movie
@jake_lach: I don't punish the dog for eating my unattended food because I do the same thing to other people
@SaddestFinger: how to fall down a long set of stairs: step 1) step 1 step 2) step 3 step 3) step 7 step 4) step 10 step 5) step 15 step 6) step 26