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@noxxhell: If you cut off my head I'll continue eating for two more days.
@Prof_Hinkley: I hope my liberal use of made-up words doesn't make you...discomfortable
@aaronnemo: I suck at video games. I mess up the character's life like I have my own. I played Mario today and he ended up $60K in debt and had 4 DUIs.
@Just_Jess_Again: Siri, where are my pants?
@ahoytheboat: my criminal record is only clean because of how fast i can run with my pants around my ankles.
@TheTweetOfGod: The Walking Dead is Jesus's favorite show.