@noxxhell: If you cut off my head I'll continue eating for two more days.
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@dumbbeezie: I just saw a woman outside sitting alone on a bench and staring at nothing and it made me so sad. I wonder what happened to her phone?
@brittwastaken: *walks seductively up to table* *licks lips* Me: Come on baby. Just one more time. Him: Lady, I'm not giving you any more cheese samples.
@ThisOneSayz: *opens door* Stop screaming! *opens door* What broke?! *opens door* Just wait until I get out there!! ~parenting from the bathroom