@weinerdog4life: If you cut your goat in half you'll have two goats, that's just simple math.
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@caithuls: [my head is bleeding] HIM: Have u seen a doctor??? ME: Buddy, I've seen several. Let me tell u about a little show called Grey's Anatomy...
@TheBoydP: [God making sausages] Angel: What's next? God: Take these extra parts, grind them up and stuff them in a casing *1 angel faints, 2 vomit*