@secondofhername: If you date someone working for the federal government and then break up, does he become FedEx? #oksorry
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@Dani_Feld: Relationship status: I shout "PIZZA'S HERE" so the delivery guy doesn't think I'm eating two pizzas by myself.
@KentWGraham: I got excited when my son joined the cross-country team. But then I learned they don’t cross the country and are back home in a few hours.