@secondofhername: If you date someone working for the federal government and then break up, does he become FedEx? #oksorry
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@azizpabani: ESPN just did a Top 5 Greatest Comebacks of All Time and there was some guy running with a ball but like literally no mention of Jesus
@HammerFist3: I want to buy a Prius because I plan on driving off of a cliff & I don't want to make too big of an explosion & kill squirrels or turtles
@brianbowman73: I was once put in the 'friend zone," but with perseverance that all changed. I'm now in the 'must stay 200 yards away at all times zone.'