@Tmoney68: If you didn't get called to a meeting with your 5-yr-old son's principal because he was inviting girls to his "naked party," you aren't me.
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@CA_Country: My ex was an absolute treasure and by treasure I mean you'll need a shovel and map to find him.
@shkeeber: Nephew: Really?! Me: Yup! Go for it! N: *runs into wall* Me: *takes pic* N: *wakes up* Am I at Hogwarts? Me: No, we'll try again later.
@notorious_stars: I've decided to write a 'knock knock' joke about Jehovah's witnesses. "Knock, Knock, Knock , knock knock knock knock knock "