@Tmoney68: If you didn't get called to a meeting with your 5-yr-old son's principal because he was inviting girls to his "naked party," you aren't me.
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@GianDoh: *dents another car while parking* *leaves note under windshield wiper* “Material possessions are ephemeral and evanescent. Move on. I know I have.”
@DadandBuried: I like having multiple children because that way if one doesn't happen to be screaming there's always another around to pick up the slack.
@garrettbarry70: *First date. Her. "Shall we carve our names onto this tree" Me. "You brought a knife?"