@Parentpains: If you didn't want me to wash my car on your lawn than you never should have turned your sprinkler on.
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@CanadianCyn: If I went back in time I'd tell myself... "Don't wait until 29 to become a stripper. You get to be naked, drunk and get paid for it!"
@WilliamAder: Digging through a box in the closet, I found a picture of me sitting on Santa's lap. Hard to believe that was almost a year ago.
@KKBowls: Me: damn, doc I'm losing my hair. What can you give me to keep it in? Dr.: a plastic bag