@TheBoydP: If you don’t believe in evolution how do you explain such striking similarities between the doughnut and the bagel?
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@bornmiserable: COP: Do you know why I stopped you? HIM: We were going too fast? COP: Yes. Get to know her first. Don't just talk about yourself either.
@DaddyJew: I just watched one kid call his twin brother ugly and now I'm just waiting for him to realize what that means
@Mr_Kapowski: 8: I'm scared of monsters under my bed Me: You should really be scared of spiders that will lay eggs in your ear 8: MOM! Wife: ZACK!