@jake_lach: If you don't boo at people after bad sex how do you expect them to ever get better?
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@beerfartchamp: I just witnessed a co worker eat a cupcake with no frosting. What kind of devil worshiping nonsense is this?
@blade_funner: wife: I'm having a baby. me: *handing menu back to waiter* I'll have a baby as well.
@TheAverageShark: Swim swim swim breach surface fly through air catch seagull swim nom nom nom swim swim
@SamuelHLowe: I bought some super sensitive condoms a few months ago and they won't stop crying because I don't use them.