@DamienFahey: If you don't have your Florida ID with you on voting day, you can always show them a photo of yourself wearing a tank top to a funeral.
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@iLikeCatShirts: Vanilla Ice: if there was a problem, yo I'll solve it... [Guy from back of concert]: why did my dad leave?
@carlyken: I'm not afraid of dying. I'm afraid of ending up in a nursing home with a roommate who has Justin Bieber posters and Twilight shirts.
@PaperWash: Mario Kart: 1) stays in first place for 3 laps 2) gets passed by 5 people at last second 3) slams controller 4) quits job 5) divorces wife
@ArfMeasures: ME: Off to the concert with my friends WIFE: Say hi to everyone for me [later] ME [individually saying hi to 10,000 ppl] This is exhausting