@SexyInsomniac: If you don't like the way I drive then get off the hood of my car.
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@SCBamaMan: I'll be signing books at the library tomorrow from 2-4pm (or until that librarian calls the cops again). Come on out!
@jonnysun: i wonder how many time-travelers accidemtaly went back in time instead of forward but then saw a knight & thought "wow look at this robot!!"
@IamEnidColeslaw: RAN INTO A COWORKER AT TARGET. DIDN'T WANT HER TO KNOW I WAS BUYING BABY CLOTHES FOR MY CAT SO I TOLD HER I'M PREGNANT
@TEXASVETERAN: How do you say "I'm sorry I got you pregnant, but my plane leaves in an hour. I might visit the baby one day." in Korean?