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@HeelyHanson: If you don't pay your exorcist
You get repossessed
@ElleOhHell: Stephen is a much nicer name than "hen from a previous marriage."
@jctwritesstuff: The smell of fresh cut grass. Freshly overturned dirt. The cold metal of a shovel. The fear in my neighbor's eyes as he mows his lawn at 7am
@ericsshadow: The kids left w/my parents for a week. I plan to run around the house for an hour yelling "woo hoo", but after that my schedule is wide open
@UNTRESOR: "Sorry, boss. I can't come in today."
[fakes a sore throat]
"I'm in jail for vehicular manslaughter."
@JusticeBeever: Just shaved my beard and I feel kinda naked without it. I'm also not wearing any pants but I'm pretty sure its the beard thing.