@DearAuntAbby: If you don't smile and show everyone your teeth when you're eating Oreos then you're probably more mature than me.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@PostCultRev: MY 6YO SON: We're on Earth, where outer space can't find us. It wants to kill us, so we hide out here. ME: [terrified] Eat your cereal, kiddo
@AndyAsAdjective: Promised myself that today I wouldn't steal anything, kill anyone or use any Meatloaf song lyrics in a sentence & two out of three ain't bad
@_TeaChap: I went on a date last night!nIt went really well...up until the moment the couple realized I was following them & promptly called the cops.
@Ideal_Victoria: Date: Sing me something Me: ♫ Open your eyes, look up to the skies and seeeee ♫ *banner plane flies by with “we should see other people”