@PyrBliss: If you don't swear when you're driving, you aren't paying enough attention to the road.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@Dadsbustednuts: I caught my employee sleeping on my office couch today. I didn't know if I should fire him, or tell him what I did on it last night.
@TragicAllyHere: Kid: MOM WHERE ARE YOU M: upstairs K: WHERE? M: upstairs K: UPSTAIRS? M: yes K: UPSTAIRS OF THIS HOUSE? M: what the? yes K: ARE YOU UPSTAIRS
@galiamango: I'm pretty terrified of the possibility that you guys might crawl out of my phone like that girl in The Ring.
@CollegeHumor: Apparently the Burger King account is suspended while they think of a stronger password than "horsemeat".