@PyrBliss: If you don't swear when you're driving, you aren't paying enough attention to the road.
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@zwina_summer: My husband asked me why I never blink during sex, I told him there just isn't enough time.
@radtoria: Whoever decided to use pantyhose as a bank robbing disguise must have had one hell of a speech to convince his buds to follow along.
@TheBeerGuy73: Teens today stuck inside all day long playing video games. In my day, we spent all day outside smoking hash oil & cigarettes with friends.
@EndhooS: [High school reunion] Classmate: I've been out building schools in Africa Me: I got banned from the zoo for gluing sideburns onto a dolphin