@Jaywoo74: If you don't think of 50 different ways to murder your boss every morning on your drive to work you're probably the boss
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@AnnDabromowitz: WOLVERINE'S DAD: Son do you know why I named you Wolverine WOLVERINE: No, father WOLVERINE'S DAD: It is because my name is Wolverine's Dad
@13spencer: One time I had a boss who called me while he was in the bathroom, and then he accidentally peed on himself, so sometimes good things happen.
@NicCageMatch: Just heard a guy at the dog park tell his dog "NO!" and then more quietly, "We talked about this!"
@betulesairafi: I love balloons! I keep tying them to my arm, but I think I'm getting carried away.