@Underchilde: If you drop food on the floor in public, it’s proper etiquette to look around and see who noticed before shoving it in your mouth.
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@TheMichaelRock: Coworker: does your beard keep you warm? Me: does your mustache keep you warm? Coworker.... Me: WHERE ARE YOU GOING? WHY ARE YOU CRYING, BRENDA
@KentWGraham: Should I be suspicious if my wife sends me to pick up something she bought on Craig’s List just a week after we updated our life insurance?