@PaperWash: if you eat your burrito over a tortilla, anything that falls out will simply start building your next burrito
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@envydatropic: It's cute how my family thinks I'm playing with fire and I'm just trying to cook them breakfast
@noog: Batman Pros: Intelligence, strategist, master fighter, money, Shit shaped like bats, Alfred Cons: Robin
@WheelTod: I can't afford an electric toothbrush, so I just roll a baby hedgehog in some toothpaste and hold in it my mouth for 15 minutes.
@shutupmikeginn: I just ran into my high school bully and it was great cause I'm doing well and he's 17 which is very old for a dog