@SergioValenCo: If you encounter a bear in the wilderness, sing a Coldplay song. You'll die, but the bear will suffer too.
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@fsuflores: I'm always careful with women that do not speak to me even after the 4th date.
@sixfootcandy: How to get out of jury duty: When they read the charges, no matter what they are, yell out "Oh come on. Even I've done THAT!"
@briangaar: THIS KID'S GOT MY VOTE
@Brampersandon_: ME (watching a sea of a million llamas stampede over the horizon): dear God, it's the alpacalypse
@MissyMooMorris: One quality im not looking for in a potential partner is the ability to maintain a virtual farm
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