@NickSchug: If you encounter a bear you should either play dead or be so vibrant that the bear is like "whatever this person seems exhausting."
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@dumbbeezie: If you kill a spider you're brave but if you kill a person you're a monster, I'm really tired of these double standards
@badbanana: People overlook Dracula's positive attributes. In his bat form, he eats mosquitoes and other unwanted backyard insects.
@noog: Cop: Is that a turtle? Me: ... Cop: Painted blue? Me: ... Cop: With nails glued on? Me: ... Cop: Mario Kart's not real Me: YOURE NOT REAL