@dixonshuman: If you enjoy waking up and checking to see what died, get a fish tank
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@QwertyJones3: [speed dating] HER: I'm a real planner. I like people who plan ahead. ME: *trying to impress her* I'm already wearing a condom
@NJPsychDoc: If the opposite of impossible is Possible & the opposite of immature is Mature, you can conclude that i'm a very Portant person to some.
@Schmoodles: #ThoughtsInMyHead 1. How much wine can a cat drink? 2. How do you resuscitate a drunk cat? 3. Will they do an autopsy on a dead cat?