@dixonshuman: If you enjoy waking up and checking to see what died, get a fish tank
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@TheMichaelRock: Helping my 5yo with his homework. Does anyone remember how to write the alphabet? Like with a pencil?
@StarWarsProblms: Qui-gon: You will give me the parts Watto: I'm immune to mind tricks Qui: Are you immune to lightsabers? Watto: I will give you the parts
@BlindChow: Though he came from a long line of spoons, Sammy Spork always noticed a slight resemblance to Mom's friend Frank, the fork living next door.
@leshnevsky: Today I played dead with my 5yo nephew. He cried for 5 seconds, then grabbed my iPhone and run away.