@dixonshuman: If you enjoy waking up and checking to see what died, get a fish tank
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@jngraphs: I see you've blocked me on all social media sites & moved house without leaving a forwarding address Baby, does this mean we're on a break?
@jwoodham: The iPhone 6 looks pretty cool, but it still lets people leave voicemails, so they apparently haven't worked out all the bugs yet.
@Mr_Kapowski: Coworker: Happy Thanksgiving Eve! Gobble til you wobble! Me: *mutters* How bout you slobble on my knobble CW: What was that? Me: You too