@HogwartsLogic: If you ever feel bad about your procrastination, Harry had three month to figure out the egg clue and still did it the night before
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@tylerschmall: Hi, fire department? My cat is in a tree. Television has taught me that this is your problem.
@ninetek: If you're having luftballon problems I feel bad for you son I got 99 luftballons and whatever whatever I don't speak German
@TheMichaelRock: Oh, did my tweet insulting a celebrity upset you? Maybe you should tell them about it the next time you guys hang out.
@boogersincoffee: i hate when you google stuff like 'insidious' it gives you the definition but when you google 'butt' it doesn't. define butt for me damn it