@HogwartsLogic: If you ever feel bad about your procrastination, Harry had three month to figure out the egg clue and still did it the night before
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@Xalqee: My wife once told me " Mike you're the only man who ever gave me multiple orgasms", which pissed me off because my names not Mike
@geekysteven: ME: "Hey, the 1980s called and they want their pants back" STRANGER WHO IS SECRETLY A TIME COP: "They called?! That's a level 3 violation!"
@TheMichaelRock: If you hate yourself, just drink alcohol like an adult; there's no need to vote for Trump.