@moxieblogger: If you ever feel dumb, remember sometimes sloths grab their own arms thinking they are tree branches and fall to the ground.
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@CelebrityChez: How long are you supposed to wait before you unpause the tv after your wife tells you she wants a divorce?
@Humor_Fetish: There's a fine line between flirty and creepy. And that line is called being good looking.
@warne888: When you're at someone's house? Normal people: "What a lovely house!" Me: "What's your wifi password?"