@ThisHotGarbage: If you ever feel unattractive, just remember that you look like your ancestors, and Hey, All of them got laid.
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@aka_fatman: Hamburgler: Success! Look at this amazing haul of these McDonald's burgers! Hamburgler's Mum: *sobbing* Your brother is an architect.
@CheryeDavis: The Police come right away when you tell em your baby is locked in the car... They don't however think it's cute to call your phone baby..
@Dawn_M_: Don't judge me because I like 80's music. Judge me because I had a late term abortion because a baby would ruin my holiday plans.
@ericsshadow: THINGS CHICKS DIG: 1. Popcorn 2. Puppy dogs 3. I can't think of anything else, I'm very bad with women.