@ThisHotGarbage: If you ever feel unattractive, just remember that you look like your ancestors, and Hey, All of them got laid.
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@Diversion50: [supermarket] *Unpacks 60 items of groceries onto checkout area* CHECKOUT GIRL: I have a boyfriend. ME: Oh, OK. *slowly repacks trolley*
@zorgod: I fear one day my gf will figure out every romantic thing I say to her is a line from Brokeback Mountain.
@TheBeerGuy73: I'm skipping the gym today because I already have a six pack... waiting for me in the fridge at home.