@BigMedwards: If you ever get arrested, lighten the mood by pretending to go for his gun.
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@GrantTanaka: Wife: oh honey, I didn't marry for money, the guy I fell in love with had an easy smile, a sparkling laugh & big dreams. then I met you.
@ShortSleeveSuit: Tailor [furious]: You think you can just come in here and choose your own material and do your own measurements? Fine, SUIT YOURSELF!
@Steven37366100: Interviewer: You list excellent negotiator on your resume. Could you provide an example? Me: *slow winks, slides $5 across table* I’m hired
@AbbieEvansXO: Dark Lord: come join the dark side Me: I would never Dark Lord: the good side makes everyone go around in a circle and say something about themselves Me: I’m joining the dark side