@BigMedwards: If you ever get arrested, lighten the mood by pretending to go for his gun.
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@Dawn_M_: I stepped on two raccoons today, but I'm just gonna play it cool and wear them as slippers for the rest of my life.
@mantej: I was in a gang once — we used to carry pocket knives & wear all green with blood-red bandanas around our neck. Wait, that was Boy Scouts.
@WoodyLuvsCoffee: Afraid to fly? It's perfectly safe except that air traffic controllers are all gov't employees forced to work the holidays. Merry Xmas.
@dreadnaught69: I hate corporate lingo. Stuff like "core competency" or "design out the problem" or "I'm gonna need you to go ahead and do some work today"