@DamonHunzeker: If you ever get attacked by a shark, don't forget to take a moment and appreciate the statistical improbability of it all.
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@TheMichaelRock: Some guy robbed a local gas station and stole $700 worth of cigarettes. I wonder what he'll do with both packs.
@TEXASVETERAN: My son asked me where babies come from. He so silly, babies are too young to come.
@zachraffio: - Adele's baby starts to cry - Adele sings the baby a lullaby - baby cries more, but now for different reasons
@Sickayduh: "Your name is Duck?" It's Doug. "Yeah. Duck" Doug. "Duck?" DouGGG "Got it. Duck" Go fuGG yourself "Haha. Classic Duck"