@iamch0pper: if you ever get caught sleeping on the job... slowly raise your head and say, "in jesus name amen"
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@Jandalize: Falling asleep at work didn’t get me in trouble. Falling asleep at work and snoring got me in trouble.
@thomas_violence: the only time I can imagine clicking on a Facebook story is maybe if I got attacked by a bird while trying to do something else
@Phook75: The upside to having kids is how you're able to use them as an excuse to cancel unwanted plans
@blacksab67: Sarah Palin being on a climate change panel with Bill Nye is like Sarah Palin being on a climate change panel with Bill Nye.