@JasonLastname: If you ever get hit by a car, try to spin like a ballerina. You won't get another chance like this.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@aPunch2theJunk: HAVE SOME FUN WITH YOUR LIFE: Whisper "You should have killed me when you had the chance" to the person in the bathroom stall next to you.
@inmynewskin: Losing weight to be attractive is weird. I see you shrunk your body slightly. Now I want you.
@TheAlexP: Maybe raccoons aren't really digging through trash for food, Maybe they're just looking for something to remove their eye shadow.