@elvisknievil: If you ever need 15 minutes of peace and quiet from texting, tell her to send a selfie.
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@RealPrincessKim: Find a group doing river baptisms. Release LSD into the water upstream. Bring friends in devil costumes. Cavort and frolic on the riverbank.
@KeetPotato: doctor: "how much exercise do you do per week?" me: "um.. does sex count? doctor: "yes" me: "absolutely none"