@Douchekevin: If you ever saw me race to the liquor store 5 mins before it closes, you'd hire me for a getaway driver in a bank heist any day.
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@SteveSuckington: ME: will it hurt? DR: u ever been stung by like, 500 bees? ME: omg no! DR: ok. that's not what it's gonna feel like. I was just wondering
@AlexRogaski: The difference between running and jogging is that runners compete in races and joggers find dead bodies on Law and Order
@GuyThe_Guy: I made it halfway to Mexico before I realized that those sirens were just coming from the song on my radio.