@ariscott: If you ever see a movie where a woman is depressed and she has shaved legs that movie is bullshit.
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@DancesWithTamis: Confuse your least favorite person at work by moving in slow motion when they're the only person watching you
@Storminika: The president says 60% of Americans don't know math -- 60%. So what if 60% don't know math? What about the 85% that do know math?
@BorowitzReport: Romney: "I have nothing but respect for women. I'm good friends with the owners of some."