@LeahTiscione: If you ever see me with one of those stick figure family bumper stickers it means I'm dead and someone is wearing my skin
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@AIMMadellynne: Last night,my friend changed all my contacts in my phone.I've been texted by Batman Donatello,Hermione Granger.I have no idea who they are.
@shimmala: My kids are gonna be super disappointed when they find out sweet talk involves no exchange of tangible confectionary goods.
@rockymomax: ME: *closes to Kill a Mockingbird* WIFE: did you actually read it? ME: yup WIFE: what happens ME: (very confidently) it was a bird massacre
@MiddleageM: Having a tea party is fun until your daughter tells you that she got the water from the toilet