@LeahTiscione: If you ever see me with one of those stick figure family bumper stickers it means I'm dead and someone is wearing my skin
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@_Water_Baby: *at casino* When he hands you $100 and asks you to go get chips, do not ask him Doritos or Lays. Get both. It will leave him speechless.
@SaraThomas84: I'm convinced that people are now just getting married and having babies to have something to post on FB
@imence2: Gf:Do u love me? Me:Yes. Gf:Why do u love me? Me:You're the best. Gf:I'm the best at what? Me:Asking questions. Gf: Like what? Me:...
@NathanFillion: Fortune cookie- You will have a successful TV show. Me- How old is this cookie?!