@barfolishus: If you ever want kids to get louder, just tell them you have a headache.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@_Water_Baby: Putting carrot sticks in the break room next to the cake is considered work place violence, Jim. Security will see you out.
@polyhumorous: I got my husband to marry me 51 days after we met. Today is our 20th Anniversary and I think he's still wondering what the hell happened.
@FavoritesYou: Felt bad about hitting a car yesterday but I remembered to leave a note. Didn't have a pen so I used my key.
@panmidwest: DOG: she keeps using heart emojis when we text DOG FRIEND: which color heart? DOG: *shows friend phone* the gray one DOG FRIEND: omg