@Phantasmagoriax: If you ever want to watch a women feel herself up for ten minutes, hide her cellphone.
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@JasonLastname: Law enforcement's cracking down on texting while driving, but there's no law against standing up and playing saxophone through your sunroof.
@TheTweetOfGod: When the sun explodes you will have eight minutes before the world ends. In a related story, you might want to order dessert now.
@ZachWeiner: Our baby doubled age in a single day. If my calculations are correct, a month from now she'll be about 3 million years old.
@justabloodygame: Lmao at people who 'play Devil's advocate' like Lucifer doesn't already own all the lawyers.