@Phantasmagoriax: If you ever want to watch a women feel herself up for ten minutes, hide her cellphone.
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@WilliamAder: My wife's been working in our garden for two solid days now. I never realized tomatoes required a big, six-foot-deep hole like that.
@daemonic3: My friend said his dog retrieved a ball he threw over a mile away. I don't know, that seems pretty far fetched.
@DanMentos: me: *rubs lamp* genie: I will grant you three wishes me: can you go away I’m rubbing this lamp