@dumbbeezie: If you find a stylist who can cut hair without talking, never let them go
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@LittleMissZesty: Me: I'm not saying I hate your voice, but when you start talking, I understand the way dogs feel about fireworks. *howls* Co-worker:
@Swishergirl24: The divorce rate is almost at 60%. How does Cupid keep his job with that level of failure?
@SirEviscerate: ME (a ghost): You know how Bill Nye used to say "don't try this at home"? Well, I did, and he kicked in the door and shot me in the face.
@BoomBoomBetty: Southern women don’t outright fight. We passive aggressively drive one another into the ground with compliments and trying to make the better fried chicken.