@Tmoney68: "If you gaze long into a bisque, the bisque also gazes into you." - Philosophical soup kitchen chef
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@JediGigi: To avoid another embarrassing moment like when I was stood up on prom night, I always keep at least 1 penguin around.
@Fruit_Slinger: I think weed is messing with my memory. I can't remember shit anymore! I think it's because weed is messing with my memory.
@NoTheOtherJohn: ME: judging by this blood stain the murderer appears to have been a turkey ACTUAL POLICE OFFICER: That's a hand print
@markleggett: People who push and shove to get on a flight before other passengers are possibly going to get to their end destination one second faster.