@SomthinBoutSara: If you get a text from me that ends in a stream of emojis, my mother has stolen my phone DO NOT ENGAGE
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@Rollinintheseat: The most valuable lesson I learned from Hey Arnold is that it's okay to punch mouth breathers in the face.
@Jarhead44: If you're not following me and received this tweet, it's because someone is smarter than you.
@Reverend_Scott: Elephant 911: What's ur em- Elephant: MOUSE Elephant 911: WHERE Elephant: FLOOR Elephant 911: JUMP ON THE TABLE [table breaking noises]