@iwearaonesie: "If you get me to the next station I promise I'll never let you fall below half a tank again" - A Memoir
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@AndyAsAdjective: [SETI receives extraterrestrial signal from 95 light years away] [scientist decodes message in the signal] "enough…with…the…Harambe…jokes"
@BuckyIsotope: *shows up to date with broken nose* "What happened?" Hurt myself playing football "How?" Threw the controller at a wall and it bounced back