@iwearaonesie: "If you get me to the next station I promise I'll never let you fall below half a tank again" - A Memoir
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@firebrand3: I was informed last week that "cheat day" does not mean what I thought it did. In related news: Baby, sit down. I have to tell you somethin
@faizziy: My friend is mad at me because I saw her using a huge tablet to make a call so I offered her a gas cylinder to light her cigarette..
@jordan_stratton: Gotta love those girls in department stores wearing lab coats--taking time away from their experiments to help women out with their makeup.
@AmishPornStar1: It's important to be comfortable in your own skin... Because, apparently, it's illegal to wear someone else's.