@TheBoydP: If you get nervous when the IT support desk takes control of your computer remember they're whispering "no weirdos please" to themselves.
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@envydatropic: The forecast isn't calling for rain so I'm just going to wash my car to prove the weatherman wrong
@SoulYodeler: When coining nicknames, be sure it reflects how that person has impacted your life. For example, my two sons Buzzkill and Third Mortgage.
@AimeeHelene1: When someone at work asks you what you're doing this weekend, just pull a lettuce leaf out of your pocket and slowly start licking it.