@CakeThrottle: If you get robot arms don't get the cheap ones [starts clapping for no reason]
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@SteveSuckington: Sex with me is like bowling. Lots of drinking and cursing. Sticking your fingers in weird holes. You have to rent shoes.
@_NTFG_: A News Reporter just described someone as "Healthy as a Bus". Yeah....I don't know either.
@ItMightBeJimbo: Two seats open. One next to a good looking girl who noticed me as I walked in. The other by a wall outlet. She'll find love in another man.
@LurkAtHomeMom: Fitness tip: It's absolutely crucial to take "rest days" when working out so you don't get hurt. I've recently taken over 300 of them.