@CakeThrottle: If you get robot arms don't get the cheap ones [starts clapping for no reason]
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@Ms_WhateverV: Kids wont go to sleep so I'm playing hide&seek. And now they'll never find me, because they aren't old enough to drive or get into this bar.
@RandiLawson: We've replaced the names of the foreign countries & leaders in Trump's speech with the names of IKEA® furniture. Let's see if he notices
@GrantTanaka: exactly 14 yrs ago today, I pointed at a beautiful woman & said "that's the girl I'm gonna marry one day" but it turned out to be a lamppost