@Cassfullofjoy: If you give a man a fish you kinda suck at picking out gifts.
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@Cidisn: Auto mechanic: Well here's your problem. The last person to work on this didn't wash their hands after using the restroom.
@Cheeseboy22: All those years of getting horrible elementary school pictures was just society's way of preparing you for your driver's license photo.
@joci2203: I drank my recommended amount of water today, yay! Okay, well there was some vodka mixed in every cup, but still.